Where earth and sky meet

I only met you once. You were all easy smiles and infectious laughter, you were really there, in the moment, up on the stage, you gave everything and you just loved every second of it.

You represented everything I love about music; the hard work and dedication, the joy, the emotion, the appreciation.

And you genuinely cared. Even months after that show you still remembered all that we talked about, you asked about our projects, our little lives that so briefly intertwined with yours.

I hate that I only met you once. I hate that we did not talk more often. I hate that I did not get around teaching you all the Hungarian swearwords, that I did not get to see you perform with your own band. I hate that now I never will.

At twenty-nine you have more of a legacy than most people I know will have at eighty-eight.

I will never forget you Simon. Rest in peace. 

Death happens to all those around you

I was trying to figure out what to say, but there are no words really.

Because when someone dies at the age of twenty-fucking-nine there is really not all that much to say.

It was a privilege to meet you, to talk to you, to laugh with you. I'll never ever forget you. 

I hope you find peace Simon. 

Mind=blown

The human mind is the greatest sex toy ever.

Yeah, my night is ruined.

Wait what

If you, dear reader, speak my lovely mother tongue - Hungarian that is - kindly get yo ass over here. My other blog. That from now on I shall continue. And I'll write here too. I'm that awesome and interesting.

Always

I love that after all this time, after having seen all the movies countless times, after crushing on various actors to various degrees in various periods of my life I still see Harry Potter & Co.in my head the way I did when I read the first book for the first time. Whenever I think of them as adults I see the features of the children they used to be, I see the the fingerprints of the joy and sorrow of their lives, the small wrinkles, the little things, the signature movements.

Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home, and that's the most important thing Rowling thought me, not the whole love conquers all evil and the values of friendship and all that.

She showed me that literature, that fantasy will always be there for you to turn to whenever you need it the most, that the stories live on in your head if you want them to, and if you don't like the ending, you can just close your eyes and pretend, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Inappropriate sex joke

What's the difference between light and hard? One can sleep with a light on

Because I just really had to say something that paints me as funny and awesome after all that emotion.

Insert inappropriate fart joke here.

And I'm telling you

Music is life and life is music.

Nothing, nothing makes me as delightfully emotional as music does. It feeds my soul or it poisons my mind, doesn't matter, it makes me feel alive like nothing else ever could.

I used to have a decent voice, a decent range, terrible sense of rhythm and eagerness to learn more, to be able to preform, to be able to pour myself into the notes and die on a stage only to be alive because of it. Yes, dreaming big is important, and yes, with enough time & money it could be done, I could be another average singer with something meaningful to say. It's just that I realized that it's not my part anymore, maybe it never truly was. My part is, in a way, so much important than that.

A few years ago a dear friend of mine said after a gig where every single thing went wrong that he was okay because every time he started to, you know, be not okay, he just looked at me, saw the joy and unconditional love on my face and knew that nothing matters, and everything is going to be just fine as long as I'm there. Now I don't even have to be there, he just thinks of me for a split second, and it's the same effect. I'm his anchor.

It happened again with bands, other musicians and I realized that that's what I am - a reason to play just one more gig, to put up with just one more fight, to take just the next small step. Because I believe in them like children believe their fathers to be superheroes, and even if it's not true, even if they are bound to let me down, they try as hell not to.

So that's what I am, an anchor. I don't have to be me, I don't even have to be there, but that's what I'll always be anyway.

Thank you, all of you lovely people for letting me be a small part of the wonders that you create, and thank you for appreciating it.

And thank You, for reminding me what I love most.